You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Randomize
