Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
