he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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