Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I would ride that face into the sunset
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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