They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
