i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
