I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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