Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
And then my night got REAL pukey
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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