FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I have fence marks all over my body
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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