I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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