rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
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it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
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Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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