6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I just want to make out with him forever
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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