and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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