Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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