so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
