I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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