And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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