THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I want to be your penis for a week.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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