Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
As shirtless as possible
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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