that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
