i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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