i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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