Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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