Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I have post one night stand depression
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