I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
