im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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