so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I showed him my bush... on skype.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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