: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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