So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
