goodnight i made you a song goodbye
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
