That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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