last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
