i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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