This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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