Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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