no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
