Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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