I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
