You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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