oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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