More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
