break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
