whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize