Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
