looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
