so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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