It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
