win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
did i just pee glitter
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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