love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
