I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Damn victory sex feels great
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
