There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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