Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
My vagina just clenched in fear
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
