He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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