She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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