If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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