It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
